Instant Spider Phobia Treatment Charity Fundraiser

Hate Spiders? An article in the Telegraph says that September is their typical breeding season – so watch out! OR… get a free instant spider phobia treatment with me, Richard Walker, your experienced local Hypnotherapist.

spiders

Last year our wet summer really bumped up the numbers of spiders sneaking in for shelter.  So what for this year? Speaking to the Manchester Evening News, Steve McGrail, from Pro-Kill Environmental said “swarms of  ‘sex-crazed’ spiders are already making their way indoors as mating season begins. Some of the spiders could be as ‘big as mice’.”

I met one person who fled their car on a motorway at the appearance of one medium-sized unwelcome freeloader scurrying out to see the view. That’s far from funny.

How to get this free instant treatment? Well, the good news is that you won’t have to confront a spider as part of the treatment. So what’s the catch? Only that you to agree to my filming your amazingly quick treatment.  And give a donation to charity – Level Trust of Luton, who help local kids with very basic school necessities, like uniforms and stationery.

The next session will be scheduled Wednesday evening 28th September in Harpenden.  NOTE: You must book to attend at –
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/spider-phobia-treatment-charity-event-tickets-27611113584
NOTE I do ask a small non-returnable deposit of ten pounds (to the charity) just to help make sure we have more serious bookings. Ten places max – when it’s gone it’s gone.

Hypnotic Gastric Band for Slimming

The Hypnotic Gastric Band

Restricting your stomach size by surgically fitting a real Gastric Band is rather a drastic step – with very real risks (see references below). But what if you could simulate it under hypnosis – and feel satisfied with less food? Interesting? In fact, research results on the effectiveness of the hypnotic, or ‘virtual’ gastric band are awaiting publication. Certainly I was surprised with my own results using it with clients even in a workshop setting.

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For some fifteen years I’ve been successfully using hypnosis to help clients get into healthy eating patterns. Hypnosis can be a very effective way of seeding new habits, by making suggestions which sit deep in your mind. There are many different ways to do this, and different people have different reasons why they are not in control of their eating. In other words, people differ, don’t they? And what motivates one person may differ from the next.

That’s why I created my end to dieting on-line weight control programme, at enddieting.co.uk because it lets you discover which ways will ‘hit the spot’ for you. It gives you instant access to hypnosis recordings, and guides you on how to get the best out of them. And, I’ve included the Hypnotic Gastric Band to the selection of specialised hypnosis audios. That’s in addition to how to overcome self-sabotage, resistance, snacking, clearing your plate and other common problems.

Stroh, C., Hohmann, U., Schramm, H., Meyer, F. & Manger, T. (2011). Fourteen-Year Long-Term Results after Gastric Banding, Journal of Obesity, vol. 2011, Article ID 128451, 6 pages, 2011. doi:10.1155/2011/128451

Madura JA, Dibaise JK. Quick fix or long-term cure? Pros and cons of bariatric surgery. F1000 Med Rep.2012;4:19.

Stop Smoking 7-Day Challenge

QUITTERNEWRichard has proudly supported the British Heart Foundation’s annual No Smoking Day for some years. As part of this, he developed his 7-Day NoSmoking Challenge, which you can access for yourself right now!

Richard says, “we know that with support, smokers are more likely to succeed in quitting.” That’s why he is making his 7-day Challenge available to you.  “The Challenge contains all the guidance I regularly give to my one-to-one stop-smoking clients, before we meet for the one-off hypnosis treatment. It sets them up for success.” Richard tells of how some clients quite before they even have the treatment!

SIGN UP FOR THE 7-DAY CHALLENGE

Sign up to his 7-DAY CHALLENGE to receive one supportive email each day, with challenges and tips to help you on your way to becoming a quitter. BONUS: Free Audio Guide and Hypnosis for quitting now included.

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As an extra incentive, get yourself sponsored! Collect the equivalent of 10p per cigarette saved each day for a month. Then donate that to a good cause – the British Heart Foundation at https://www.justgiving.com/Abetterlife-QUITTER

Why not consider Hypnosis to help you Stop Smoking

Hypnosis is increasingly being recognised* as one effective way to help you quit. Recent client Rebecca, a 32 year old professional, said “It’s now been a week since our appointment. I have not once wanted to smoke, in fact I have not really thought about it at all. It’s only really been when people have asked me at work if I’m coming outside for a smoke that it has really come into my head and my response has been “don’t be silly, I don’t smoke”.

Read more about what research says about the effectiveness of hypnosis and other methods for stopping smoking here http://abetterlife-uk.com/hypnosis-for-smoking

*Lynn, S., Green. J., Accardi, M., & Cleere, C. (2010). Hypnosis and Smoking Cessation: The State of the Science. American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, 52(3), 177-181.

 

 

 

7 Steps to Slimming with Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

7 Steps to Slimming with Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

Hypnosis has been around much longer than calorie counting, dating back to the 1700’s – and beyond to ancient tribes and healers.  Hypnosis is really a guided meditation, which allows you to relax and focus inwards, to turn away from the conscious chattering mind. In this state, you can allow appropriate, beneficial ideas and suggestions to filter through into your subconscious, to form a lasting impression there – like a memory. Hypnotic language is, at its best, persuasively constructed language and ideas. This is the key to the power of suggestion to motivate you to change you eating patterns (or even to increase metabolism).

If you would like to know more AND get a free hypnosis audio to help you, then download my free CD below.

Step 1:  Set your Clear Goal

The single most important step is get absolutely clear on what you goal is. And it should NOT be about weight. It might be “lighter on my feet” walking or playing sport; or slimmer in jeans and a T-shirt. Get the POSITIVE result (and forget about weight). This is something to think about and write down. Now, here’s a secret that you probably won’t hear anywhere else. You need to ask yourself, “why bother”? Seriously. Go out into the future, to where you have achieved your new size and figure, and ask, what does this make possible for me going forward? Determine what you would like to come out of this hypnosis process, what weight would you love to be in an ongoing way? Write this down too. These two features of your goal you should really obsess over. They are a crucial step in helping you to succeed and focus the unconscious mind using the power of hypnosis and hypnotherapy for slimming and weight control.

Step 2:  Face the Facts

Don’t kid yourself or hide from the truth of your current habits. You have to face the facts before you can turn things around. For seven consecutive days, write down everything that you eat and drink, at the actual time. Also, note how hungry you are on a scale from 0-10 as well as your emotional state and thoughts. Emotional state means feelings, like bored, stressed, relaxed, anxious. It is essential that you complete record with no omissions. If you don’t, then you know that you are not putting in 100% commitment. No excuses.

Now, I am going to give you the stripped down guide here. The core messages. Of course, many of us prefer to be guided through something like this, because otherwise we may wander off-course. Or miss a key point of detail. And you would like to try out hypnosis for yourself to really get things moving. If that’s you, you might like to find out about my Weight Loss with Hypnosis and The Hypnotic Gastric Band programme. The free CD is on my website at

Step 3:  Create your Personal ‘Commands’ or ‘Mantras’

Based on the facts you found, did you find you snack? Or eat things you shouldn’t, like sweet or sickly or processed junk? Or too much? Create suggestions like “I choose to eat fresh, healthy, nutritious food”. You can be specific, about fresh vegetables and salad. Or “I have no desire to snack; now desire to snack on (crisps/sweets/cakes/bread/etc).” Or “It is my choice to eat the right amount of healthy, nutritious food”. Construct your own, but note that they must be constructed in the present tense and must be positive actions (with the exception of the “no desire to snack” mantra). You can use a combination of any or all three, and repeat these suggestions like “mantras”, and certainly in your hypnosis sessions.

Step 4:  Allow yourself to Relax

For most, slimming seems like impossibly hard work but with hypnosis the best results come when you relax and allow your unconscious mind to do the work, not your body.  Commit to relax and you can create the body you want.

Step 6:  Visualisation with Hypnosis

Did you know that the subconscious is a real sucker for “pictures”? And feelings and emotions. Maybe you’re one of those amongst us who think you can’t visualize. Let me just ask you, do you know what your TV looks like? Your car? Right – however you did that, is your personal way to visualize. Simple.  So, imagine you goal in the future, and also, how GOOD it feels. Get that picture, no matter how fuzzy, and really pay attention to the great thoughts and feelings. Experiment with making the picture bigger, or brighter, or nearer; add sounds; do whatever makes it most compelling and feeling great. Repeat your “mantras”; together this will reprogramme your thoughts and behaviours, and counter old negative feelings.hypnoticgastricbandv5
Step 7:  Make Time to do it and Be Persistent

You must act to be able to succeed.  You can’t just think about it.  You have to follow through and do it.  Schedule and block time in your calendar for your hypnotherapy sessions.  Make them as much a priority as brushing your teeth or shaving or going to work.  It takes effort and time but it’s worth it.

Consistency and persistence are what it takes to achieve any goal in life. Persistence and repetition is also what helps you wear down and overcome any inner resistance or self-sabotage. Of course, this is precisely what a skilled and well-trained professional hypnotherapist should help you overcome more quickly in a one-to-one treatment plan. Just as such resistance fundamentally is no more substantial than a memory,  so it is that it can be “unlearned” in perhaps only a few sessions …so stick with it.

Everyone has within us already the power to achieve great results.  Hypnotherapy and hypnosis will bring you the results you desire, want and need.  Today is your day.  The hardest part is to start.  Make this your day and being one step closer to your desires.  If you want me to guide you why not

Slimming with Hypnosis

After all the festive nosh and sitting around, the truth hurts. Did you get that unpleasant discovery of being a little too podgy even to enjoy retail-therapy clothes shopping in the January sales?
It’s that time of year again where many of us are wondering how to get back into shape.  The latest fads are the two fasting diets – the alternate day and the “five and two” diets. They look worth doing, if you can make it stick. But there’s the trouble; how to overcome temptation and really get your mind on your side.  That’s the, err, meat and gravy work of hypnosis, so to speak. Find out how to get your mind on side to help you get a grip on your eating using hypnosis.

Most people have probably tried every imaginable diet, weight loss program, pill, shake, meal replacement, starvation method and exercise gadget under the sun (we don’t always admit to it!) to try lose weight… But failed. You become discouraged and frustrated.
Here’s a different solution > find out more about how to put an end to dieting and overcome self-defeat.

 

“Am I Stressed?” Four Stress Tests

How stressed are you?

It’s not always easy to know if you are indeed stressed. It doesn’t have to mean “stressing out” at people. It can go “inside” where it can do far more harm. Here are four kinds of stress test for you to use.

1. This 30 second test has been created with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy for National Stress Awareness Day. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-24756311

2. This Simple ten-question test to assess how stressed you are is on my site.

3. This one helps you detect and track your stress symptoms over time:  Track Stress Symptoms

4. This one is the classis Stress vulnerability test for the impact of Life Events

Want to know what is stress really? It’s not what you might have thought. I explain it clearly in my article http://abetterlife-uk.com/what-are-the-facts-about-stress-how-can-you-reduce-stress/

 

Detecting & Coping with Stress

In an earlier article I explored the question of what is stress really. This gave insights on how to avoid stress. Here we will look at detecting and coping with stress. This is the approach that I use in my stress workshops at a local NHS hospital trust.

Stress can creep up on you, and to catch it early you will need a method to detect it, so that you are aware of it. That’s the first step in my ABC approach to detecting and avoiding stress.

Awareness is about paying attention to emotional and physical changes, asking others who know you, maybe completing a questionnaire, and possibly seeing the doctor if you are seriously concerned.

There are various self-analysis questionnaires you can do, ranging from the quick and simple to the more formal. I have listed some with links at the end of this article.

A good idea is to track the symptoms that you are experiencing month to month. Use the two tables of physical and emotional symptoms that I gave in my previous article, simply circle those which apply to you, then repeat in a month’s time. Are there more of fewer circles?

Balance prompts you to get a wider perspective. Stress can often arise when we get too drawn into an issue, and we lose sight of other aspects in life which, on balance, you may realize is not really so bad. Mentally “step out” and imagine looking at yourself from above any situation which is bothering you. How does it look from there? What can be learnt? Also, look at other aspects of your life, and other activities that you take part in. Let yourself recall past good times, or upcoming events that you are looking forward to.

Choice is about willingness to taking back some power.  Usually we know what we don’t like in life, but we are less good at actually thinking through what we really would like our own life to be like, in any useful practical detail. So after you have stepped back and calmed down, begin to imagine and note down what you would actually like to have your life look like, in detail.

 Even more importantly, ask yourself what did you do bring it about and to keep it? It’s no good waiting for someone else to deliver you a happy stress-free life; other people have their own worries and concerns to deal with. A good starting reframe is the so-called serenity prayer:

Further Analysis

If you really want to get serious and resolve the root of your stress, then these are the kinds of questions I would initially ask you:

  • What precisely is the problem that you are experiencing? What actual factual evidence do you have or what are the symptoms?
  •  What situations trigger it off or makes it worse, and what makes it better? When did it start? What was happening then in your life around that time? What feelings and emotions were associated with those situations? What is the relationship of that to your present situation?
  • If you tracked these feelings way back in your life, what were you earliest memories of having even the faintest of feelings like these?
  • Ask you inner, subconscious mind: What do I need to know or become of aware of in order to resolve this? What do I need to change in my life?  What aspects of my life would I refuse to change?
  • What are my greatest fears or concerns in life? (These concerns may even be the source of your greatest motivations in life.)

Resources

These are examples of tests  to detect and measure stress:

Simple ten-question test to assess how stressed you are

Track Stress Symptoms

Stress vulnerability test for the impact of Life Events

 

 

Quick Stress Test

How Stressful Is Your Life?

This self?evaluation quiz indicates physical and emotional symptoms that show how you relate to the daily stresses in your life. First, think about how you feel this month.

 Then score yourself on each of the following statements. Mark 10 points for answering “most of the time”; count 5 points for “some of the time”; put zero for answering “almost never”. You can mark ‘in between’ scores if you wish.

____      1.    I often feel tense or pressured.

____      2.    I frequently feel sad, hopeless, or depressed.

____      3.    I often feel guilty or inadequate to meet the demands of my life.

____      4.    I have difficulty falling asleep (without medication) and I don’t feel refreshed when I wake.

____      5.    I’m unable to sit still, so I move around constantly or toy with some object.

____      6.    I get so upset that I’m afraid I’m losing control of myself.

____      7.    I’m trying to work through a serious personal problem, and I worry about it almost constantly.

____      8.    I don’t feel like I can totally enjoy much of anything.

____      9.    I feel like I’m in an impossible situation I’m powerless to improve.

____      10. I don’t have enough energy to accomplish all the tasks that I should.

____      TOTAL SCORE

 

A total of 50 or more points indicates a need to take action to improve your coping techniques and reduce the stress level in your life.

Causes of Stress – Life Events

The notion that major events in life can set us up for stress was assessed by Holmes and Raheback in 1967, and their  Stress Scale is still the most often quoted. You can use this to get an indication of what might be behind any signs of stress that you might be experiencing, or to warn you to take steps to reduce stress.

1Holmes, T & Rahe, R (1967). The social readjustment rating scale, Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11:2 pp 213-218

Events and ‘typical’ stress rating

highest risk:
# Death of husband or wife  # Divorce or marital separation  # Jail term  # Death of close family member  # Personal injury or illness  # Marriage  # Loss of job  #Moving house

high risk:
# Marital reconciliation  # Retirement  # Serious illness of family member  # Pregnancy  #Sex difficulties  # New child  # Change of job  # Money problems  # Death of close friend

moderate risk:
# More family arguments  # Big mortgage  # Legal action over debt  # Change in responsibilities at work  # Son or daughter leaving home  # Trouble with in-laws  # Outstanding personal achievement  # Wife begins or stops work  # Begin or end of school  # Change in living conditions  # Revision of personal habits  # Trouble with boss

low risk:
# Change in work hours / conditions  # Change in schools  # Change in recreation  # Change in church activities  # Change in social activities  # Small mortgage or loan  # Change in sleeping habits  # Change in contact with family  # Change in eating habits   # Holidays  # Christmas/annual family gathering  # Minor law-breaking

Do take into account that life events and social changes tend to be particularly stressful when they are:

  • Unpredictable
  • Unfamiliar
  • Major
  • Intense
  • Unavoidable
  • Inevitable

Don’t take the table too literally. It is common for people who feel stressed to search to look for some events to “blame”, but these may be the result, rather than the cause, of the stress. A feeling of not being able to cope with new duties or responsibilities, for example, may be the result of some other possibly unrecognised stress.

You can put a score to each of these events to evaluate your vulnerability to stress. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale 

———

To help discover the source of your stress, begin by sitting down and asking yourself whether there are any social, physical or emotional factors that are affecting you:

  • How much are you smoking?
  • How much alcohol are you drinking?
  • How little exercise are you taking ?
  • Could you be ill?
  • Is there some new element in your life?
  • Has there been any change in your general circumstances?
  • Have long-standing problems recently become worse?
  • Is someone close to you facing difficulties that affect you?
  • Do you have disagreements about someone or something?
  • Is some situation leaving you feeling that you’re not good enough or at fault?
  • Are you taking or being made to take a new role, or perhaps carrying or being asked to carry too much responsibility?
  • Do you have unspoken fears or frustrations?

Symptoms of Stress

These are typical of the type and range of reactions you might experience under stress. Remember, everyone of us is unique – we don’t all behave or react the same way! You can use this list to note any symptoms which apply to you (i) right now; (ii)  at times in the past when things have been better, and (iii) to check again say in a couple of weeks from now. This way you can keep track of changes; watch for things getting better (good!) or getting worse (a sign that something in your life might need attention).

Emotional Symptoms of Stress1

Physical Symptoms of Stress1

 (1) Source: Prof Greg Wilkinson, Understanding Stress. Family Doctor Series. The BMA & Family Doctor Publications.

 

Facts About Stress & Reducing It

Stress – it seems that it lurks in almost every aspect of life these days. But what do we really mean by stress? Is it always a bad thing? What makes it bad? What are the facts about stress?

This is the approach that I use in my stress workshops at a local NHS hospital trust. Let’s begin with an over-arching definition: stress is the pressure that you expose yourself to. Actually, we are often more concerned with how we each respond to stress; your physical and emotional reactions, or stress responses. In physics we speak of the strain on the system when it is stressed. So you could argue that we should talk about the strain we experience when under stress.

Consequently, when we talk of “stress levels”, we should take care whether we mean the person’s stress responses, or the levels of pressure they are facing.
Of course, a little bit of pressure can be productive, can’t it? It can give you motivation, and help you to perform better at something. However, too much pressure or prolonged pressure can lead to stress, which is unhealthy for the mind and body.

Everyone reacts differently to stress, don’t they? And some have a higher threshold than others; they can bear more strain before they experience some stress response. This idea that individuals have unique biological, psychological and social sensitivities is the core of the “stress vulnerability model” proposed by Zubin and Spring (1977). When it gets too intense, or too prolonged, the resulting stress response can be physical, mental and emotional symptoms.

The variety of possible symptoms is wider than you might have imagined (see the table below), both physical and emotional. Over time, these culminate in the majority of cases of anxiety and depression, the most common mental health problems in the UK(and mental health problems are the most common health problems in the UK). Research by mental health charities suggests that a quarter of the population will have a mental health problem at some point in their lives.

How does stress happen? A model of stress
When faced with a situation that makes you stressed, your body releases chemicals, including cortisol, adrenaline and noradrenaline. These invoke the ‘fight or flight’ feelings that help us to deal with the situation. However, when you’re in a situation that prevents you from fighting or escaping, such as being on an overcrowded train, the chemicals are not used and their effects are felt by the body.
The stress vulnerability model tells us that everyone is different, and we each perceive situations differently (sensitivity) and have our own physical and emotional reactions (personal responses) to a situation.

A build-up of adrenaline and noradrenaline increases blood pressure, heart rate, and the amount that you sweat. Cortisol prevents your immune system from functioning properly, as well as releasing fat and sugar into your blood stream. The real trouble starts if you keep finding (putting?) yourself back in such stressful situations over and over, or if they get more intense.

That’s when mental, behavioural and physical symptoms can develop.

Symptoms of Stress
Emotional Symptoms of stress*
 
Physical Symptoms of Stress*

*Source: Prof Greg Wilkinson, Understanding Stress. Family Doctor Series. The BMA & Family Doctor Publications.

How to beat stress?
Well, notice the stress has three contributors: the situation, your responses (physical and emotional) and your sensitivities to the situation.

Reduce any one of these, and you impact on your stress response. Most of us want to change the situation in some way; such as how certain people treat us, or trying circumstances such as the bad traffic everyday on the way to work, or difficult clients or customers. Such external factors are hard to influence (short of direct avoidance).

The second factor is about your individual emotional and physical responses. See the table below, for examples. You might learn to reduce these by any of a number of methods, such as taking a break, going for a short walk, getting more exercise, learning to meditate, eating more healthily, learning time management or project management etc. There is plenty of this kind of advice around (the little Understanding Stress book I mentioned above is quite good, actually).

However, the third factor is usually overlooked, and is about your sensitivities to situations. For example, if you get upset if people shout, or you can’t easily say no, or don’t like (and therefore avoid) conflict, or have a need to please others (including the boss), then you are primed for more stress. This is because the world will be the way it is, whether you like it or not, and you will suffer if you can’t assertively make your way through it and get what you want and let things go that are really about other people’s issues.

Here’s the really interesting thing; most people don’t realise that you can modify these sensitivities and bring them back into balance. Do that, and what must happen to your stress response? That’s right, it drops away dramatically. And that’s the kind of mind work that a good brief therapist can achieve in a matter of a few hours work with you.

Evening Classes in Hypnosis & NLP Autumn 2013

  • learn to hypnotise others as well as yourself, to bring about positive benefits
  • discover how to use the magic of NLP – to influence others and to make personal change.

Previously delivered by Richard Walker PhD for many years at Oaklands College and Luton Adult Education College, Richard once again offers this popular course of Evening Classes for Autumn 2013.  The course will run on Tuesday evenings. 7.15 to 9.45 pm for eight weeks, in the centre of Harpenden.

Changes in funding at the local colleges meant that they were unable to support the courses without large numbers of students. However, the course was always enjoyed by everyone, whether just for fun, or to learn how to deal with common problem like stress or weight control, or as an introduction to something more. Indeed, many participants so much enjoy what they learned, that they have gone on to qualify as practitioners in Hypnosis and NLP themselves!

Eight evenings, for just £79. Includes course booklet and notes.

Find out more by following this link to the Herts College of Hypnosis and NLP

What really is intelligence?

What if we have misunderstood what we want out of intelligence? What if, in fact, less is more when it comes to true creative thinking ability? That’s exactly what was implied by a recent BBC Horizon programme, “How Insight Works.” Turns out that the left side of your brain grows into a rapid switching network, connecting up what you have already learned and making it almost instantly available to you. But the other way of interpreting this, is that it is like a “habit” monster.

The right side of the brain is wired differently. It is less densely packed (less “white matter”), and has lots of extended and convoluted connections. It seems that this causes ideas to “collide” with each other, and push new insights into our conscious awareness. In other words, this side is more creatively intelligent. Left-brain dominance means “more of the same” and no new solutions; right-brain intelligence is about problem-solving ability.

Trance-inducing drugs have long been used to loosen up old thinking. In fact, much of the modern advances in psychotherapy came from using LSD and the like in the 60’s. Naturally induced hypnosis, or meditation, is far safer, and allows new ideas to appear and take root. The key question here is, do you want to think in the same old familiar straight lines, and see things the same old way, or do you want to access more of your creativity? Love your right brain and nurture it with meditation, self-hypnosis and the like.

Watch the Brief Clip the Horizon programme or the Full Episode by following the links.

Weight Control with Hypnosis

  • Panicking at the thought of wearing a bathing suit or tight jeans?
  • Huffing and puffing when you walk?
  • Trying to find clothes to hide those bulges?
  • Avoiding the mirror / intimate relationships?
  • Feeling like your weight is out of control?

I’m sorry to hit you with the nasty stuff first. But is this familiar?
In this situation most people have probably tried every imaginable diet, weight loss program, pill, shake, meal replacement, starvation method and exercise gadget under the sun (we don’t always admit to it!) to try lose weight… But failed. You become discouraged and frustrated.
Looking for an answer? I have a different solution > find out more about how to put an end to dieting and overcome self-defeat.

 

Why Do I Feel This Way?

Bad feelings are not nice. But not all bad feelings are a bad thing. So-called “negative” emotions also have a purpose – they are a signal from your mind&body system that something needs attention.  But few of us – if any – got taught how to understand our feelings and what they are teaching us. This little article helps to explain your emotions.

Negative emotions get a bad press.
But what if “bad feelings” were not actually “bad” at all? Could they simply be a feedback message from your mind and body that something needs attention? That is my theory from my PhD, and it’s supported by some significant researchers too.

What could bad feelings, or “negative” emotions really mean then? Well I’ll reveal to you what I have worked out, from my years of experience with clients. This what I believe to be the real value of your emotions, what they mean, and how to make use of them. They are like a feedback signal, telling you there is something to learn or change in connection with some situation in your life – so that you can learn to “out-think” it and handle it better in future (or even pre-empt it).

Your emotions are YOURS
The first point I want to make is that no-one can make you feel anything. Yes, you can prompt, goad or encourage them in someone… but their response is down to them. I know it seems like other people upset you, or make you angry, but if you slow it right down, and examine closely, there are a series of steps involved. Fro example, If a cat gets run over, how much will purely dog-lovers care? Maybe rather less than the cat-lovers? And what about those people who hate clearing cat ‘poo’ from their lawns? I bet they would react differently. There are no emotions “out there” in the external world; we have to create them inside us. First, something happens ‘out there’, or someone does something. Then we respond with some feeling, or not, according to some internal ‘rules’ we have about what things mean to us. Does that make sense?

With that in mind, here’s a summary of what the primary emotions can be telling you.

Anger   Anger is a stimulant.Anger says, “Do something now!” There is something you need to do now! Perhaps there is something unique to say, an action you need to take? Ask yourself, ‘Am I wanting the world behave the way I want it to, rather than acknowledge the way it is?’ Perhaps you need to learn something new, look at something a different way, or take action! And to do it now! Frustration is anger directed at yourself.

Sadness   Sadness says,  “Slow down, reflect and learn.” Something just changed, and it feels like a loss. Sadness slows us down and gives us time to think, reflect and gain new understanding from an event or new situation. Essentially, to absorb the positive learnings – after which it is time to let go and move on. Sadness over someone who died years ago is way past is ‘sell-by’ date! Sadness is keeping you away from all the wonderful feelings you shared with that person.

Fear   Fear says, “Stop! Is it safe? Am I ready?” Fear originates from the instinct for self-preservation. If all logical checks have been made, and only a fear itself remains, then ask, “Do I still want to do this?” If the answer is yes, the following rule applies, “feel the fear and do it anyway.” An acronym of FEAR is: ‘False Expectations Appearing Real’. Mark Twain’s wrote, ‘ I have had thousands of scary experiences in my life, some of which actually happened.’  

Hurt   Hurt asks, “What were you overlooking the risk of happening, whilst hoping for the best?” Then when that unwelcome outcome turned up instead, essentially we then react by feeling hurt or let down. Even when someone says something ‘hurtful’ – it really means that we didn’t like what they said, and reacted badly. After all, people will say things –  and in some cases we are hearing a ‘home truth.’ Hurt is a negative emotion, turned inwards on ourselves, which is telling us ‘there is something to learn here! If you don’t learn from this, bad stuff like this will probably happen again in the future!’

Guilt   Guilt is the bad feeling you get when you are doing/not doing something which is important to you. It might be past tense. The question to ask yourself is “What am I doing/not doing, that wish I were(/n’t) ?”  Or, “what did I do /not do, that I wish I did(/n’t) ?” Guilt is a totally pernicious emotion, in that keeping it will keep you trapped from doing what’s important to you! It stops you being true to yourself and to your true purpose in life. Be prepared to honour your true, personal values, as opposed to what others would have you do. Dump guilt now, and start dong what’s important  to you.

Can you get rid of negative emotions?  Yes, I believe you can. One way is to explore them as above. Buddhism also recommends this kind of approach. If you are struggling to release a negative emotion which is holding you back, then an enormously effective method to remove it is with Time Line TherapyTM techniques.

Having tough times? Or just want to break old patterns?

You’re not alone; it happens to nearly everyone at some point in life that things go wrong or come to a head. However, no matter how bad it seems, there is almost always every hope of untangling the mess. Rest assured, there’s seldom anything clinically wrong with you!

Most things fade away with time. But if you don’t want to wait, or want to put an end to what might be an old pattern or cycle, then I can help. I usually get to the heart of the underlying problem very quickly and, perhaps surprisingly, resolve it within a matter of hours with your commitment.

The extra benefit of using hypnotic techniques to resolve the underlying matter in the subconscious is that you will pre-empt similar kinds of things from recurring in the future. Solve the right issue in the right way once, and it’s fixed forever.

So, if you want help using hypnosis for stress, anxiety or other problems in Harpenden, Welwyn, St Albans, Wheathampstead, Luton and Bedford,  I have a local consulting room. I also offices in London Harley Street and Bournemouth. Of course, I treat smoking and weight control too. Did you know that hypnotic techniques can help with many physical complaints, including chronic pain?

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